#massively overwhelming!!!!
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uh oh!!! spent too much time comparing fic stats!!! made myself sad!!!!
#let's go#i gotta Stop#i do it#and i hate it#and i get sad#(i was already sad i did it intentionally knowing i'd make myself More sad)#and i sit and wonder why i fucking bother#and then i have to think about the cake comic#and calm myself down but i'm already crying bc of guard#and i just get to shift through life absolutely mediocre and alone and it's just!!!!#massively overwhelming!!!!#and i am crying!!!
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sharing a bed in s5 but there's a pillow wall between them
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler fanart#when the romantic tension is so overwhelming you have to put a pillow in between the two of you to block it out#yes i've done this before with a friend that i had a massive crush on what of it#sammi's art
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I truly believe if Geralt got to be around baby Milek he would be such a giant worrywart like he's so fragile! and tiny!! Jaskier just laughing at him in the bg as Geralt is both enamored and fretting
Haha, you are absolutely right!! Geralt can't deal and Jaskiers heart is ready to burst, even if he has to laugh.
#geraskier#jaskier#geralt of rivia#the witcher#geraskier lovechild#the witcher netflix#look at him he can't deal bless him#in all honesty#I think Geralt would be massively overwhelmed in a quiet way#but also a dad who STEPS UP#if he gets over the stage of 'oh no I gotta safe them from this lifestyle'#and maybe a period of time where he thinks the only support he can truly give is economical#he'll be a WONDERFUL dad#if a bit overwhelmed because baby tiny#how to hold baby#baby did a little squeak is everything alright???
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Now, I know that Remus’ patronus is a wolf (in cannon, I mean— I usually headcannon it as a massive dog) because he’s a werewolf, but I don’t think that that would be his animagus form. I also don’t think that Lily’s patronus being a doe makes her animagus form a doe, because that’s boring as all hell.
Personally, I think that Remus’ animagus form would be either a mouse or a sheep. A mouse because they’re incredibly clever, but also very kind, and I find it funny to think that the werewolf’s animagus form is one of the smallest mammals out there, also he kind of just reminds me of a mouse (plus, it would be sweet to see Peter not being the tiniest Marauder— I think that him not being the smallest would’ve prevented him from building resentment and then betraying them). A sheep just for the irony of a wolf in sheep’s clothing puns.
I think that Lily’s animagus form would be a mountain lion. They’re notoriously good mothers, they’re strong, they’re fast, but they’re pretty nice (by big cat standards). Also, I just think the gives off big cat vibes. She’s either a mountain lion or a lioness.
#i post this mostly to propose the idea of mouse-remus cuddling up in sirius’ pockets whenever he’s eepy or overwhelmed#because that mental imagine is adorable#you’re welcome for putting that in your brain#also!#imagine lily being a mountain lion or lioness and then there’s just james#just this dorky ass really objectively strange animal standing there watching this elegant powerful hunter#prongs has the same reaction to lily’s animagus form that james does to lily’s human form#plus imagine sirius’ massive animagus form that is literally so big he could crush someone#and also this little mouse that curls up on his head#or this sheep that cuddles into his side#lily evans#remus lupin#wolfstar#jily#harry potter marauders#maraudersera#marauders era#the marauders era#the marauders#sirius black#james potter#peter pettigrew#sunflower#flowerpot#who else’s animagus forms should i yap about?
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There are SIX SONGS in the season finale?? Let's goooo
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#i had figured that it must have gotten overwhelming with a series that has such a massive and vocal audience#I've been there too honestly#and i thought few recent episodes being a bit stale was fair criticism but the 'we have to wait too long for more content' stuff...#idk always hit me the wrong way I cannot stand by those#also like when i say i support creators taking time with their projects and prioritising their mental health I MEAN it#i mean it even if it's someone more famous. I don't think I'm owed explanations and details to decide if I'll 'allow' it#i would have been happy enough to wait on the finale already tbh. and now I'm so stoked!! also idc the latest asides was great#someone come talk with me about sanders sides!!
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They're having a not so good time rn
#in my head they make it into the ancient basin#maybe after sustaining a major head injury from one of the city's former residents#they're not the best with magic#they're really good with a sword but they have no real combat experience so they're overwhelmed quickly#so they run to the ancient basin for shelter#their skull is just one massive gaping wound#and they're trying SO HARD to concentrate l#so they can heal enough to make the journey home#and a buncha lightseeds come scurrying out of the darkness#crawlinh all over them#getting INSIDE their wound#and suddenly they're b u r n i n g#from the inside out#my art#hollow knight#hollow knight gijinka#gijinka#hk lost kin#broken vessel#hk lk#hk bv
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I point you all to my ko-fi page once more -> link
my parents, enraged that I didn’t sort a massive mound of clothes yesterday (after doing the other chores they asked), essentially decided they are going to start charging me rent.
So this is just in preparation for that moment when they do start asking. I’m still trying to save up to move out. It’s not a huge deal yet (idk how much they’re going to charge) so there’s no pressure to donate.
I work a full time job so I can’t really give much in return. But I can take doodle requests upon proof of donation! I’ll doodle any DCA you want.
Thanks.
#Idk what to tag this#i’m just so tired.#i’m just tired of my parents putting so much pressure on me#like 1) I did the chores they asked of me#2) The only one i didn’t do was because it was literally an overwhelming amount of clothes. The entire fucking laundry room is filled to the#brim with clothes. Literally you cannot walk in there without strpping on some#that’s 6 people’s clothes. Not even most of mine because I actually do my own laundry. other than the ones that get mixed in with the others#and they wanted me sort them. by myself.#I’m autistic and a massiver germaphobe and they wanted me to sort their grimey fucking clothes.#And when I don’t do it? call me useless and lazy#and then i fel insane because maybe i am just lazy and i should do more because they let me live here for free#sometimes i feel in the wrong. maybe i am in the wrong. maybe i should just suck it up and deal with it instead of complaining#I don’t know. I’m scared. I’m so scared#I don’t have anything to fall back on. I don’t have my own car. I have nothing.
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Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays
#cp2077#edit:mikhail#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing#whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier#you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly#but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined#they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again#and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you#and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain#sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!!#they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day#and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest#night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big#and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like#how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole#anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out
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2 days since i finished once upon a witchlight. 2 days since i last saw kremy. Kremy withdrawal is starting, and it hurts. Like a kremy hangover (which no is not connected with my actual hangover). Kremy means so much to me. In fact kremy means SO much to me i have a deep desire to get like a badge or a diploma for being a part of kremy nation. I would like to be perceived above all else- as a kremy girlie. WITNESS ME AS I TALK ABOUT KREMY LECROUX. contact me if you want to talk about kremy lecroux, i need to verify the info. When i die and my brain gets cut in half, all the wrinkles are shaped like kremy. And if one sunny day, running late somewhere, with a single slice of toast in my mouth, i bump into richie god damn gilder i will with no hesitation fall on the ground and thank him for creating kremy. And he will think wow shes so cool and normal, from his backpack he will produce a purple book. I gasp. Oh my god what is that. He says szare you are so cool you should have this its a book that contains every single fact about kremy ive been writing it for years. I will say thank you how can i ever show my gratitude. And he will say dw abt it bestie.
Every wednesday kremy nation shall gather as i will read a page from the kremy book.
#richie if youre reading this#thats your cue to start writing#yeah yeah im normal or whatever#just#kurwa mać no#staram sie pisac a bestis gadaja obok moj mozg nie daje rady#okay focus focusssss my head hurts so much from the hangover yes the actual hangover#kremy nation#justtttt i dont know i have this weird desire in me to be recognized as a kremy girl i dont know what this says about me#id say im a massive fucking loser but i just got a job i have friends and good grades thats not very loser like#i guess the loser within never leaves#pardon my long posts and long tags im with friends and i cant be vocal about kremy#kind of writing all this to self regulate birthday party was great but overwhelming#anyway i fucking love kremy its a love that doesnt happen often#happened once before with dennis reynolds i think i have a type#kremy my best friend from another universe all i have is a gator plushie#idk whats wrong with me#richie is a very smart man i cant even imagine how the process of making such a character and living him works#and how amazing it is to witness how wonderful it is to see richie live kremy god dammit hes so fucking smart and amazing#gods!!!!#what a time to be alive at the same time as richard gilder to witness his craft#i will shut the fuck up now#at least for this post#*i cover my face with a cape like a vampire and jump out of the window*#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux
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Good things: I've been invited to partake in a certain exhibit regarding a certain author since I've had the privilege of illustrating the covers for the UK edition of a certain fantasy series.
Not so good things: I've lost most of the scans for the 8 illustrations (I think I only have 3? 4?) so that means I need to figure out WHERE I stashed the originals. I know I HAVE them, so that's some comfort. But I have so many stashes. And it's been... 10+ years and two moves. On top of that, they may need retouching. Fun times!
A minor "conundrum": I finally need to decide where I would like to offer said illustrations for print. I have a society6, but it is rather dusty these days. That aside, the print quality seems pretty decent (I have not seen with my own actual eyes, but considering I've yet to hear otherwise, I'd say they go over well.) That said, if anyone has opinions/experiences on print on demand storefronts, I'd love to hear them. I'll say in advance I would prefer to not handle printing them myself. If you know, you know.
So yeah: Things! Winged horses abound, and the search for my old art begins. If you are a fan of the old Green Rider series illustrations, watch this space?
#April rambles#text post#illustration stuff#I don't call myself an illustrator anymore since it occupies so little of my time#but I put in the work when its asked#anyway overwhelming imposter syndrome looming since my work will be in the same space as Donato Giancolo and Alexandre Dainche#to which I pale in comparison needless to say#I just draw horses and feathers y'all I'm not important nor do I aim to be#sorry for vagueposting old followers know I do the covers for the UK edition of Kristen Britain's “Green Rider” series#if I sound more self disparaging than usual it's because I don't feel I deserve chances artistically these days due to massive art block#just need to pull myself together and attempt to occupy my illustrator self again#it's been so long#on the flipside it's heartwarming to know people have loved the cover art#I genuinely enjoyed drawing them#I have a lot of thoughts and they would be better off occupying a journal#instead of clogging up tumblr
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i think its interesting to point out that azula and katara are both people that value and strive for control, however they value different types of control
katara is someone who's been forced to become an adult at a very young age. she was given the responsibilities of a caregiver without the room to be a child. i think she focusses on an orderly, stable emotional/domestic dynamic and laboriously denies her own needs to achieve that. its also the fact she is, no doubt, attempting to emulate her mother in a way that a child cannot really comprehend. there's an expectation afterall for her to fulfil that empty space. so it comes off as controlling, perhaps even emotionally manipulating at times, while she in turn can be stubborn and wild with her own emotions. it's a fascinating dynamic because she constantly needs to be controlling people, not so much their action but their manner, headspace and so on, but also accepts help from others (when shes not being stubborn)! it's not healthy, per say, but she accepts people as people with their own thoughts, feelings and desires, and moves to accommodate that after they push back
azula on the other hand needs to control everything, all aspects, at all times. she too was forced to be an adult as a child, but she also never had a healthy example of an adult to begin with. her caregivers either left her at a key developmental stage or were. ozai. and as a princess, she's been taught to be a certain role with a country wide responsibility as soon as she could talk. alongside her military training, too! (all of this is taught, might i add, by people who are required to maintain a professional distance. even if she's a child, their society requires her emotional isolation) azula values absolute control and order in all aspects of her life, she's never allowed herself room to contemplate what a fufilling emotional dynamic is. she views everything on a wider scale, so much so she's always a politician, military leader and absolute ruler in every aspect. and in turn, everyone else is not allowed to have their own desires in the face of that. azula quite literally cannot approach people on an equal level, her background and her desperate need to control actively dehumanises them. while intellectually, she's a genius with an innate knowledge as to how people tick, they are always below her in class, in skill, and in her eyes, maturity in itself. which is ironic, really, since that very mindset is more childish than anything - viewing people like toys to play with, rather than humans with thoughts and desires outside her own
there's just. no separation for azula between her inner self and outer self need to control - unlike katara. because despite katara's need for control too, she's FAR more conscious of how a relationship should function. she's far more mature, really, than azula ever will be. in fact i'd argue katara being 'immature' is more an indicator of how stable she is than azula's demeanour. she feels her emotions, feels others emotions, and takes them at a human level. azula tantrums when someone doesnt dance to her tune
#i think their cultural backgrounds also HEAVILY inform this#katara is from a low context culture. she says what she means and means what she says#so to speak#azula is high context. motherless. and adopts a role that was beaten into her. theres so much going on w her#i dont even think she really percieved herself as a child at a certain point#but she was also never EXPECTED to be a child either#while the adults in her life are immature and toxic around her she absorbs that and internalises it. like purposefully or not in ursa's cas#it leads to azula attempting to be the mature one. trying to balance ozai's tantrums and be an emotional regulator as a CHILD#it skews her MASSIVELY. her background is so incredibly divorced from normal emotional progression#that like. she's unbelievably childish under this impenatrable wall of forced maturity and overwhelming responsibility#as well as the expectation for women of her stature to not be outwardly emotional or forthcoming to begin with#shes from a high context high control society after all. and is expected as a fire bender to maintain UTMOST discipline#anyway. ramblings from me#as an azutara enjoyer i think they are SO complex and parallel each other wonderfully#and they should in fact kiss about it#or maybe kill each other. or both!
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Replicating what ctommy felt because every year I hate having to hear Dreams voice more when watching these goddamn VODs.
#genuinely INFURIATING that I can’t enjoy this as much bc I hate his ass so much#like yea the ending was dogshit so it retroactively makes this arc worse WHATEVER#I can retcon that with my huge brain and massive imagination.#but the overwhelming urge to scream and shut everything down when I hear him is hard to deal with
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It's times like this I like to return to the Oddworld games.
Not just because I'm a silly fan with so much nostalgia for them, but because the narratives of the oppressed rising up and taking back their power is so deeply healing. It gives me a little spark of hope that things will get better, as tough as it is.
#i feel this particularly with stranger's wrath#is true with all the games#but theres something about the stranger's story of embracing a role and life he felt like he had to hide to conform to a society that never#wanted him in the first place that just . . . heals#and of course#the continued resistance of the rest of the naturalist species in the face of overwhelming oppression#idk it gives me hope and comfort#massive thanks to owi and lorne lanning for bringing these games into my life#Oddworld#hang in there guys
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Actually I will ramble a bit cuz my friend & I do have a hc we’ve been playing off of that involves tiny Vash but since it’s canon in stampede that Vash can change the density of his Gate & in maximum (my preferred trigun) how Vash can grow really Big and Monstrous (so can Knives) if he adds to his mass so he can support his size that maybe an Opposite effect can happen. While growing, Vash needs added mass to support his weight, but the bigger he gets, the more inhuman and more of a flesh singularity he becomes; that growth also causes him to lose his identity and get consumed by himself temporarily. Because I’m a silly guy who likes thinking his GT with logic… but also… maybe when Vash overuses plant juices, or his body needs to fall into recovery mode after extreme body harm / near fatal situations (or extreme psychological stress), he goes into what my friend and I call “power saving mode”. Back up battery. His body shrinks. Size varies but the smallest he’s gotten is 2 inches. There’s an inherent fear he has if he pushes himself over his limits he might go quantum & never recover… like how in stampede he shrunk his Gate into a quantum state… it’s a very round about kind of canon aligned hc to make Vash shrink and be tiny. And cuz he neglects his plant powers so much he can’t control it… not until much much later in maximum… but he mostly can’t… also reflects his plant ability to absorb / store energy and release it.
Something something we’ve had scenarios where Vash’s body & mind gets so stressed out mini psychotic break or physical issue just causes him to shrink in his hotel room in front of Wolfwood & the Girls… and basically whatever’s on him at the time shrinks too so what he’s wearing n stuff… hehehe itty bitty & a lil squeaky and definitely extremely nervous exchanges between handling & being handled. Also accidentally freaking out his companions. Being small reminds him he’s not human & it makes him feel a lil self conscious…
#Txt#long ramble… my friend and I have done lil timelines too…#This is all from manga events btw but like#Him shrinking after Monev the Gale’s fight in manga in front of the Girls… having them take care of him for a few nights before his body -#-decides to grow back. And then after the colony 3 fight & during hospital arc he also#Has another shrinking spell. Post adrenaline and body’s like catching up with lack of energy. The colony scientists & doctors know this#About Vash so they can still treat him but he’s flustered about it. Luida loves her teensy son…#And then there’s just little incidents when traveling with Wolfwood…#Scared him sooooo bad when it happened at first. Watching Vash just shrink after suffering a dangerous wound he#Patched up hours before. Hehe. Oops.#And then shrinking in front of both Wolfwood and the girls after this scenario where Vash absorbs radiation from a dying plant before it#Explodes but it causes him to explode into a Cronenberg flesh monster & after they pull him out his own rapidly decaying massive body & hes#In a coma does he shrink 2 days in and wake up tiny and they’re just Overwhelming him and trying to#Take care of him proper… Meryl and Wolfwood bicker about how to do it right…#Milly is very sweet and gentle with him though… but Vash overwhelmed… so easy to overwhelm.#Anyways big ramble#Trigun gt#Hehehehejehe explodes
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Samples have been acquired for the DMM Trad Style Scratch. You can get those items here (for Love) and here (for Happy Kiss) until the 22nd of May 2024 at 5:59 pm (all dates/times JST).
#boueibu#boueibu hk#Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu LOVE!#Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss!#anime merch#(Sorry for the extremely late post.)#(I went overseas then was massively overwhelmed at work due to a coworker dropping out plus I was trying to get an ARB translation done.)
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Y'ALL HAVE ME LIKE
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID
BUT Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SO SWEET
I'M SORRY IT'S TAKING ME SO LONG TO REPLY
I WANNA DRAW THINGS BACK
AND I WILL
after my exam tomorrow :')
#i am overwhelmed y'all#my heart is so full#wish me all the broken legs for tomorrow :')#this second course is MASSIVE#there's just so many terms and acts and dates and formulas to rememberrrrr#like i swear they made this course 4 TIMES BIGGER THAN THE FIRST ONE just to weed out the weak#and i am not weak#i meant what i said when i said i was speedrunning this program#we have 2 years to complete it#and i'm trying to finish it in 5 months#but like#once i'm done#i have so much to unleash#i wanna draw more art for the hairdresser AU and start working on the fic#and draw more raincoat chibi DCA and maybe do a comic of their backstory?#and there's so many memes i wanna draw#and i have a new au i've been cooking up#it will most likely be a fic that's a series of oneshots (with some art but mostly a fic)#it's another slice of life au and very self-indulgent#but i hope it'll be a treat for some of you as well#might post a few crumbs of it sometime soon#it's been on the backburner of my mind for a while now
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